There is someone behind my screen
who knows everything about me.
I want to call her Ms. Datalay.
She knows every page I visit
Every person I have stalked
Every creepy thing I have googled.
And that’s OK to me.
I just wish I could speak to her
And ask her what she thinks of me
What does she think about my neuroses
—if they have got any better or not at all.
I wish she told me everything about my frienemies, my obsessions, things I need to improve.
I would then be able to apologize to her for refreshing my email so obsessively and giving her so much extra work.
It’s so sad that Ms. Datalay is not going to use this information to make my life better, only to take my money and entertain my neuroses.